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I can't keep doing this alone

Respite, adult day care, and the free local support most families never hear about.

Quick answer

Respite, adult day care, and the free local support most families never hear about.

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If you are reading this at 2 a.m., that is information. Caregiver exhaustion is not a character flaw, and there is more free support in most metros than families ever find.

Short answer

Respite, adult day care, and the free local support most families never hear about.

What to do, in order

  1. Take the exhaustion seriously as a clinical fact. Caregiver strain predicts poor outcomes for both people.
  2. Use respite before you are desperate. New York's CareScout adult day health care median is $144/day ($3,120/month); the NHTD waiver and Managed Long Term Care can help cover it for Medicaid-eligible seniors.
  3. Take the free support that exists here. Nassau County Office for the Aging (516-227-8900) and Suffolk County Office for the Aging (631-853-8200) both run caregiver support programs at no cost.
  4. Get a second opinion on the plan. Your county's Area Agency on Aging will review options at no cost.
  5. Name the thing you are avoiding. Most caregivers know what the next step is months before they take it.

Questions families ask

How much does assisted living cost in New York State?

According to CareScout's 2025 Cost of Care Survey, the median cost of an assisted living community (private one-bedroom) in New York State is $225 per day, or about $7,110 per month and $85,320 per year. This is a statewide median - CareScout's published state-level data tables do not break out a separate Long Island or metro New York figure.

What does a nursing home cost per day in New York?

CareScout's 2025 Cost of Care Survey puts the New York State median at $511 per day ($15,528/month, $186,333/year) for a semi-private room and $550 per day ($16,729/month, $200,750/year) for a private room, both based on 365 days of care. These are statewide figures; CareScout does not publish a separate Long Island-specific nursing home rate.

How much does hourly in-home caregiving cost in New York?

CareScout's 2025 Cost of Care Survey reports a New York State median of $35 per hour for what it now calls non-medical caregiver services, a category that merged the formerly separate homemaker services and home health aide categories in 2025 due to price convergence. Based on a 44-hour week, that works out to roughly $6,673 per month or $80,080 per year. Private duty nursing, a higher-acuity service, runs a New York State median of $120 per hour.

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